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April 11-16, 1999

After a long and glorious night of carousing with Hiro and the Josher we said our final goodbyes and went to the Bali airport at Denpasar. The ride to Perth left at 10:30 pm and took four hours. During the flight, we were subjected to the torture of a Jean - Claude Van Damme movie so wretched we both fell asleep during the final action scene.

We arrived in Perth at 2:30 am and watched as the whole plane full of Australian tourists, bogged down with Balinese souvenirs, slid through customs like eels coated in Crisco. In the search and quarantine area, we were held for an hour as our meticulously packed bags were completely emptied and rifled through by the customs agents. Sure of our International affiliation with the Columbian drug cartels, they asked us, over and over, what kind of drugs we used and/or smuggled. Finally, at 3:30 am finding nothing but dirty clothing and cheap trinkets, they allowed us access to the Aussie island.

A kindly city bus driver informed us that going to seek out a guest house at 4 am was, not only possibly futile, but a complete waste of money. We would be charged for an extra nights stay; if we waited another few hours we could save ourselves some money by checking in for the following day. He also told us that on the second floor or the Perth airport were some comfy sofas that we could sleep on for a few hours. Heeding this advice, we rode the lift up and found a few rows of padded chairs that, compared to the hard plastic benches at the Thai airport, seemed to be the reputed "comfy sofas." It was not until the following morning that we saw, a few meters away, the phat lounge with the actual comfy sofas. On the faux sofas we had our first confirmation that we had moved into a first world country. Everywhere we had been in Asia we were seen by most locals as wealthy foreigners, and it was common to be asked for money or food. In the Perth airport, sensing we were poor, vagrant travelers, without even the money for a cheap dorm room, some kind soul left a box of croissants, tarts, and jams, from their unfinished breakfast, sitting on top of the cart holding our backpacks.

We got to the Coolibah lodge at about 10 am, had a bite to eat at a small cafe nearby, fell asleep until 7 pm, ate some dinner, and then went back to sleep until the next morning.

That day, and the following few days, we walked around downtown Perth marveling at the department stores of high fashion, the CD shops and book stores, more than we had seen in some countries. We saw two movies. We ate in food courts, where the restaurant owners were not standing outside they're shops trying to lure us in with sayings like: "Hello friend!" and "I have nice table for you!" As we perused the street we saw many more cars than taxis, not even one rickshaw, and only heard a horn blow when we, being used to right-sided driving, looked left as we walked out into the street.

We met up with "Worldly Ro", or Rochelle, as she is more commonly known, who had been in Perth for two weeks. She was staying with her friend Simone Selkirk and the Selkirk family. Our hearts went out to Mrs. Selkirk, who in the past two weeks had been subjected to the, slightly insane, definitely fast-paced antics of the Worldly girl. Rochelle kept the family busy with hundreds of phone calls including 4 am ring from her mother ("what?! Its 4 o'clock in the afternoon in Miami?"); the need for Passover kosher food; and of course a few crazy stories to blow their minds. We were however, quite pleased to find that Ro had also been busy on our behalf. She had secured and procured a camper van for the three of us to drive up the west coast of Australia. She had also planned an exciting itinerary of sights to see, pictures to take, and things to do.

We went out on the town with Simone and her friends to some of the local hotspots. We were usually ostracized or denied access by the doormen for our shotty shodding (sandals) and our blue jeans. ("Would you prefer dirty shorts, sir?") Simone, and all of her friends, were champions. We very much enjoyed our time in Perth, and Fremantle a nearby town where we toured Aussie’s oldest prison, used from 1857 to 1991.

On the night before we left on our road trip, the Selkirks let us sleep on the living room floor, cooked a HUGE and delicious dinner (which wound up being consumed mostly by us), took us grocery shopping, made us a tasty breakfast (vegemite - yum yum!) and brought us thirty minutes out of town to pick up the camper van. Were the Selkirks lovely people? An assured YES! To them the timezone7 award for "Champions among Champions" goes out to all five (six including Cleo the wonder-dog!).